Tuesday, September 11, 2012

9/11 Angels

September 11th.

I have always cried on this day.
Over 3 thousand angels went back home eleven years ago.
Daddy called them home without warning...

Today as i have thought of what has already been stated about this day, i thought of something that i would like to share. I dedicate this to those mothers who are crying today thinking of their lost son or daughter. I dedicate this to the children of the valiant firefighters. I dedicate this to the widows who are alone today. I dedicate this to the angels of 9/11. Daddy loves you, and your angels look down to watch over you today.

From the 87th floor a man waved his coat from the window. Flames where at his ankles and smoke above his head. In his last moments of life he threw his coat and took the determind step to attempt to climb down the 87 floors... when his fingers lost their grip and gravity took over, daddy carried him home...

A father ran into the ruins to find his son, hoping that with every dust covered face his sons would be the next... The father was a fighter. A fire fighter. But he never found that familar face again. Daddy took his son home.

Smoke filled a feild... scatter remains of a plane lay lifeless in the dirt and grass...  the men on the plane called their wives to say "dont worry, i love you" then they flooded the cockpit... they flew home to daddy.

The street littered with shoes made a muslim man stumble. He fell on his face. The tower fell behind him waiting to devour his body under its mass... but A jewish man ran by him and turned around, he held out his hand and helped a muslim man get up... his only words were "come on brother"...

Today is a day to remember those who fought. Today is a day to remember those who helped. Today is a day to remember what life is really about. It is a day of reverence.

When faced with a trial it shows who we really are. Eleven years ago today, many changed their view on the world.

There is a sight just across the street from ground zero that I have been too. Tears are the only appropirate thing when you see the walls of ruins. When you see the names of the angels writen on the walls. When you see the ten thousand paper cranes made by the victims family members.

There is a real feeling of despair.

But life is not about despair. It is not about what you have lost or what you do not have. To me everything in life happens for a reason, and this day eleven years ago, brought america together. It brought detemination. It brought change, re evalutaion of ones self. To me 9/11 was not to bring america to its knees but rather to make us stand and stand strong for something we care deeply about.

Over 3 thousand angels went home because daddy wanted them back.

Today i reflect on what i would have done if i were there that day.. Today i see the world differently. And i want to be different too... I want to be a fighter, like the father looking for his son. I want to brave like the man climbing the burning building. I want to tell those i love, that i love them because i'll never know when i will lose them. I want to help out my fellow brothers and sisters live and escape the deepest of dispair.

I dedicate this, my life, to those who went back to daddy trying to be like him.

To those who lost a loved one this day... they did not die in vain, they represent this beautiful place and strong nation of americans. Those angles above us are the heros of america, watching over us, hoping that we stand strong when the time comes too.

God bless America

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Making up me

I would just like to say that I am so emmensly blessed. But seriously. I am. Its been quite a while since my last post here. But to be quite honest that is just quite alright, I think that means good things for me. Less time on the computer and more time in that good "ole fashion" real world. I like that.  I dont think that I have ever felt this way before. I mean seriously. Living on my own is really great. I like to cook in the mornings and clean and do little errands and such, I then go to work every evening at 3 and stay until almost 10. Its not the most ideal situtation I know, but you know what? It is great! Really it is. I am an independent woman. Cooking and cleaning, and praying and reading, and working and driving alll on my OWN. (not like opra's channel- even though I know I am almost as inspiring) My room mates are absolutely fabulous. I came alone. Just moved out. Got all my stuff all on my own with all my own money. *pat on the back steffany*. I wake up in the mornings around eight- even though i dont have school in the morning- go on a run and come home and it's only around nine. (now you may not be thinking that that is a great feat, but if you know me, IT IS) I am learning a whole lot about myself at this point and I like it. I am glad that I can really say that I like myself, and the things I do. I am proud that I can just put myself out there and buy tickets for hawaii and travel across the country, and teach relief society, and sign up for classes, and move out and just be me. I am so glad that at this point in my life i know who I am, and that I LIKE who i am. I think that is big. It wasn't always that way you know. New thought. My older sister came this last weekend. I really love her, and I really miss her, but i am glad that she can go out there in the real world too and learn all about herself too. It was fun to sleep in that bunkbed again. hawana waka waka waka niki pu pu pu. (i tried out my hawaii on britt, what a great sister)  I am so grateful for my daddy. Lookin back there was a time when I didnt really want to talk with him, about anything really. But i am so glad that i was able to  GET OVER MYSELF and become friends with him. I really do love him alot. alot. alot. And I am just super grateful for such a good mommy who, lets be honest- deserves credit. She after all was the one that taught me how to make all the food i am eating. And well she taught me how to clean the floors, and taught me how to be close to my savior through her example. What a wonderful woman. I miss my little sisters. (even though i visit home almost every day) I just miss hearing about their days and i miss laughing and singin with them in the kitchen and then watching our favorite shows together. I am so glad that i have a great relationship with my family. New thought. It is weird to think that I am moved out and probably wont be back home for a long while, cause well, i have my next like ten years planned out. And we all know IT WILL go according to my plan. Hahaha ya sure steff.*rolling eyes* But even if it doesnt, I WILL make it what i want... I have been thinking about that alot lately. Just living in the moment. And how its all about the way you think about things. I have been thinking that a whole lot -since i can hardly wait until i move to my tropical island- i have realized that in order to make the best of utah. I need to make it what i want right now. There will be a time for that other stuff when it comes... honeslty i am not sure where i am going with this post exactly but, i just had some thoughts. This life is really great. Truly it is. I LOVE IT.

Something lovely # 46: Electric beaters when making cookies.

Something lovely #47: Getting a cute guys number. Scratch that. Having a cute guy ask you for your number :)

Something lovely #48: Puppies. skye, buck.

Something lovelly #49: Faith

Something lovely #50: living in the moment

Something lovely #51: my fuzzy robe.

This life ever changing is exactly what is right for me. I love it, it is Truly something lovely.

Sunday, August 12, 2012

(Insert clever title here)

It's really quite late, or should I say very early? toemaetoe tahmahto. Anywho, I just have a lot of lovelies from today. Just a list. Just a very nice (lovely) list.

Something lovely #37: Not getting in a car accident. (the parked car next to me got hit, not mine)

Something lovely #38: Mumford and sons- Awake my soul

Something lovely #39: When you're favorite flavor at spoon it up is working! can i get a california tart? hmmmm. yumm.

Something lovely #40: When your best friend graduates from a certian clubby club. ;)

Something lovely #41: The moment when you make eye contact with a super cute guy and he genuinely smiles at you.

Something lovely #42: When you pass people you know, and you are not in your car, so they cant recognize you. few.

Something lovely #43: Photobooth pictures

Something lovely #44: When an old friend does something really great and you just sit in the backround thinking, "i knew you could do it, go get em!"

Something lovely #45: When a complete stranger on the other line ends the conversation with "alright love you!" and in the back round you hear "oh oops i..." and then the phone discconnects.... I know i know, i am the BEST data entry rep ever. haha made me laugh pretty hard. core.

All i have to say is "And i love you too random citizen!"

Sleep well world. Ill get there eventually.  In the mean time? You guessed it!

This life truely is a wonder. It is so very lovely, really it is!

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Im a Big kid Now

Grape koolaid and chicken nuggest. That is what i ate so often when i was growing up, so i decided to eat that yesterday to make me feel like a little girl again.

It is funny how all you ever want when you are a kiddo is to grow up. You try to wear things that your mom does, or you try to act like your older sisiter. You (or at least me) would sit at the "grown up table" on sunday's at family dinner and would just soak in every word that the aunts and uncles would say- and not play with your cousins out side cause that is what little girls do. I was a lady. I knew it. And of course when you turn the ripe old age of six you NEED to drive, so your parents get you one of those little cars, just for kids. You feel so grown up going three miles an hour down the street. And of course while you are playing house, in the car, you are obviously using the car to go to work- so you set up a lemonade stand to bring in the big bucks and then with ALL your money, you go back home in your "big girl car" and surprise your honeys with a trip to disney land! haha if only that were the real world right? i mean really... But it is so funny how when you are little you just want to have all of those things. What a lovely time in life. It is a blast to go down memory lane and remember all the silly things you did...

The other funny thing is that I think i am doing things in reverse order. You always want what you cant have right? well, recently i have found myself going back to the simplicity of that. It is just so for lack of better words, simple. And wonderful. I have found myself going back to chicken nuggest and chocolate milk or koolaid. I drink out of the little colored cups too. No need for glass. I find myself not wanting to drive, i have just done it soooo much these last couple weeks... At sunday dinners i ditch the grown up table where i have a reserved seat to play with my cousins. Of course the ties are severed with the ones my age, but the little ones think i am fun. And i may or may not have run through the sprinklers once or twice this summer and gone on a slip and slide or two. I have flown kites, played tag, played barbies, swung on swings, rode my bake with NO hands, and even ate popcicles outside on the grass in my bathing suit.

I love it. Embracing the kid again.

But I think there is something to be said for living in both the past and the present. This life is one HUGE balancing act. One of how to say that or this. One of when to do that and when not to. One of silly things and serious ones.

But i think that even though i have a big kid job, and an actual income, and that i have moved out and am playing my own version of house- that it is important to remember the simple things that childhood brought.

Remembering that even though i am a big kid now, that it is okay to have little kid fun, and that balancing the two lives just right, makes this life so very enjoyable.

Something lovely #35: Being a kid again.

Something lovely #36: (you guessed it) Chicken nuggest and grape koolaid.

Kids and swings. cuties.
(yes, it goes with the post.)

Life is good it is simply loverly. Really it is.

Monday, July 30, 2012

Passing by

I moved out. Just thought I would throw it out there. And i got a new job. Life is changing like crazy. I still cant decided if i like it or not. the changing part that is. but afterall the only thing constant in this life is change right?

Its just so odd to have everything you know be replaced with something you dont. Its not bad. Its just different. Just as the days pass by and the days become shorter and shorter, i wonder if im doing the right thing leaving em behind and saying goodbye. I will miss. I will miss them alot...

 But i am going to make the best of what has come into my life. I want to. Im going to live in the here and now. Make it exactly what i want. Exactly what is right. So to do that imma find the best lovelies i can.

Something lovely #26: When the wind blows through you hair.

Something lovely #27: breath taking city lights at night.

Something lovely #28: A friend who is always there.

Something lovely #29: Sisters.

Something lovely #30: Strawberry twizzlers

Something lovely #31: When your favorite song plays on pandora

Something lovely #32: Watercolor

Something lovely #33: Glitter toes

Something lovely #34: Cheering for your countries olympians. Go AMERICA.

Something lovely #34: Getting a great pay check!

Even though life is changing, passing by, at what seems like the speed of sound, there is still A LOT to be grateful for, and THAT my friends makes this life wonderful. THAT is what makes this life simply lovely.

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Comfort in the Sound

Do you know what I love?

On days like today my most favorite thing to do is to go climb into my car, turn on something soft and quiet, and go for a drive. I love to hear the splash of the water hitting my car as i roll over a puddle. I love to watch the rain drops fall onto my windsheild and be swept off by the blade. It is almost like a romantic dance that i got front seats to, the way they are dancing on and off the windsheild. I love to be out in the rain with out getting wet. And that might be silly but i love it. I love the cozy feeling of my car, feeling completely surrounded by the water that is cleaning the earth. I love to watch the rain build in little droppletts. And waiting until one becomes to big and is over come by gravity and slides down the window pain collecting other dropplets as it goes.  I love to turn up the music so loud that I cant hear myself singing. I love to appreciate the changing scenery around me. I love to park my car and turn down the music, close my eyes and just listen to the pitter patter of the drops hitting my car. What a perfect place to think. I love to park my car where the water hits and think about life. I do that a lot, but i like to do it most when it is raining. Who knows why? maybe its because i can just feel so much at that moment, because the earth is crying and letting emotion go too... or maybe it is just simply because i used to do this as a little girl driving on the road with my parents. Who knows. But I absolutely love to be out in my car, out in the rain, driving around. That is what I love. And I love it alot.

Something lovely #25: driving in the rain.

This life is truly something lovely, right down to the very last drop.

Saturday, July 14, 2012


Not a great start to this whole new blog :/.... Of course I started it right when my life got all busy and stuff. Sorry yall! forgive me? yay. So glad we made up.

I went to california with my best friend, her little sister, and my little sister, who just happen to be best friends too. It was just too perfectly convenient. We got a hotel room in mission veijo, and set up our stuff in a itsy bitty teeny weeny hotel room. But that didnt matter we were just needing a place to sleep.  Our hotel was just ten minutes to Laguna (my favorite) beach, and my goodness we just had a blast being beach bumms. I love the beach. Mrs. livingston had some family out in huntington and we went out to see them. I was hesitant at first, well because i didnt know them, but I am really quite glad we did, because for the rest on the time we hung out with them. My goodness. Couldnt have been more fun! They let us borrow their bikes, and pool, and surf boards, and so much. Just such lovely people. And what a lucky girl i was, cause a young lad hung around with us too. My goodness. Such a cutie. "Greek God" as some may say. And just to make it better, mr. sir? ya he lives in utah too. :) Here is for hoping that my huntington adventure brings a new buddy into my life! Anywho, while in california, i did some pretty crazy things i have never done before. Oh you want to know what they are? Okay, okay i'll tell you! 

1. Well we went on a grunion run. EEEEWWWWW. So fun, but EEEEEWWWW.   You go out on the beach at like midnight and wait for the high tide when these glorified sardines come out and get washed up on the sand, and then you catch them with your hands. Just letting ya all know. I HATE FISH. so needless to say this was slightly hard for me at first BUT i loved it after i got the hang of it. 2. I went cliff jumping into the ocean. Um, wow. Probably the scarest thing i have done in my life. I had to swim out past all these sharp rocks while the tide was high, climb up this cliff and hope not to fall backwards into the rock. exteremly scary. But totally worth it! what a rush! 3. accidentally went to the spanish branch for church! No habla espanol, comprehende un poco! 4. OH and last but not least.... purchased turtles in china town. Oh man. what an adventure!

California was a blast and a half, but im glad to be home :)

Something lovely #19: Freedom

Something lovely #20: The smell of rain

Something lovely #21: Crunchy grapes. yuuuummmmmmmyyyyy.

Something lovely #22: Home sweet home

Something lovely #23: A very cute boy

Somthing lovely #24: My camera that helps capture all the simple lovely moments.

Life is good my friends, it really is something very lovely :)